Books I’m currently reading…

 
I needed a pick me up so I ordered some books off Amazon to give me a burst of inspiration.

You are a candle…

  
I picked up this notion from a book that I am currently reading. What an amazing analogy! It’s basically saying that you as a candle burn with light. You should always be willing to share your flame because sharing has no effect on your own flame but you should never give away your wax. The more wax you give, the more you diminish. 

Nothing Greater than the Sea

 
(Image by Danlirose)

Such delicate things…

 Images by Danlirose

I went to Crystal Palace Park in South London to take some snaps of flowers and anything pretty in sight. 

  

    

Five times in my life where I nearly gave up…

  

1. When I was in an unhealthy relationship// 

When I was much younger than I am, I was in a very long term relationship. It was my first time being in one and I really thought that we were going to last forever. The funny thing is, a little thing such as physical distance can change all of that. The phone calls were less frequent, the contact was virtually non existent or should I say incredibly one sided. It was almost as if I was begging for his attention. I shouldn’t have to beg – I thought he was mine. However, whilst I was thinking it was the distance and he was at a very important stage at his life. There was something even deeper that I was afraid to admit to myself… He just wasn’t interested anymore. Our relationship was by no means perfect and it had a lot of rocky parts but I thought we were so strong in our love that nothing could shake us. Boy was I wrong. My longing for what we used to have turned into an unhealthy obsession. I kept trying to do things to make him love me harder and he just wasn’t responding or reciprocating. 

When he didn’t give into me, I eventually wanted to end my life. He was my everything and if he wasn’t in my life, I had nothing. I tried everything to get rid of the pain that it was undoubtedly over between us but nothing and I mean nothing worked. Point 5 explains my victory.. 

2. When I thought I was not going to meet my assignments//

The days that I suffered lastminute.com syndrome with my uni work. When that deadline was only a day away and your whole degree depended on it. I used to stress myself like shit but I always ended up meeting the deadline even when the worse amount of work was like 4 in one weekend. 

3. When I had insurmountable debt and I had no money //

There was a time when I was unemployed and looking for work for the longest time. I thought that I was not good enough and that was where I almost wanted to give up. I had no money and I had many outstanding debts that I needed to pay off. After subsequent persistence, I got a volunteering opportunity that eventually led to a job.

4. When I thought I had depression //

After my breakup, I felt as low as fuck. I had no self esteem, I was lonely and I thought that I would never find love again. I may have had depression at time but after reflective thinking, I realised that it may have been my faulty way of viewing the world at the time. One thing I learned from Anthony de Mello’s teachings was that you shouldn’t identify too much with your emotions. Instead of saying ‘I am depressed’ you replace that with ‘depression is passing through me.’ Same goes for everything else. This has really helped me get over many emotional obstacles. 

5. When I thought I wouldn’t get over my ex //

It took me 4 years to fully get over my ex… 4 years! I went through so many stages of grief for that relationship. Days were hard to get through because he truly was the love of my life. 

Towards the end of the 4 years, I received a breakthrough and we became civil and friendly to each other. We even got intimate with each other but guess what? I felt nothing. I never thought I would ever get to that stage. 

10 Weird Facts about Myself

Image by Danlirose

1. I eat breakfast at various times of the day

2. I like to scrunch my Cornflakes into extremely small pieces so it’s almost powder like

3. I have to eat ice cream after every spicy meal

4. I talk to myself in the mirror…(a lot)

5. I can eat a whole pack of Tic Tacs in one go

6. Oh yeah.. I like to put bits of coffee grain in my Cornflakes

7. I like to read books backwards

8. I sleep before I read a book

9. I hate texting people first

10. I like collecting notebooks

My Rules for Living (Some of them)

   

                       Image by Danlirose

 

 

1.  Learn how to make your favourite restaurant dishes, even if they don’t taste as good as the original.

2. Know when to move on

3. Be like water flowing effortlessly through your environment

4. Be very picky when choosing friends

5. You should not expect something from cheap people

6. Make yourself a brand

7. Realise happiness is not something you obtain

8. Do not let fear dictate your life

9. Manage your expectations

10. Never let them see you sweat

 

11. Quit planning and just take action

12. Make someone’s day everyday

13. Find one good thing about everyday

14. Remain in love everyday with yourself and find new ways to love yourself everyday

15. Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before

16. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer

17. Recognise that if something is a struggle or challenging, then it’s causing growth

18. When you help others you help yourself 

 

Life is Sweet (but there are sour parts)

I’ve been through many trials and tribulations this year already. I have been the least productive that I have ever been. I have been the least inspired that I have ever been.  This year has started off rocky for me but the second quarter of the year is already becoming better. I’ve managed to secure a promotion at work and I am excited and scared at the same time. I’m frightened that I may not be able to rise up to the role. All eyes are on me now and I pretty much shy away from the spotlight. I keep remembering how inspired by creativity that I used to be. I used to create music, write songs, paint with watercolours, write poetry… somehow all that stopped when I started full time work. My thirst to create and produce original pieces was my main priority and I really want to get back to that place.

I even suffer with bouts of writer’s block and this prevents me from blogging on the regular. Now that I have a few days off, I am going to find that place.

Appreciate what you have!

Do you ever feel like you just don’t have enough? You want a better job, you want that new car, you want the latest gadget. It just seems that no matter how much we acquire, we want more and more. I was the kind of person that was rarely satisfied with what I had. To some, it was a dream to have some of the things I had but I just didn’t appreciate and bask in the moment. Instead, I made a big deal of acquiring even more. It wasn’t until I made the decision to stop looking too much in the future and start looking in the present that I was finally able to be grateful and appreciate people as well as my possessions. It wasn’t an easy feat but I got there and you can too.

Attentive Concentration Disorder (the new anti multi-tasking syndrome)

Image by Danlirose Photography

Attentive Concentration Disorder is a term that I coined particularly in relation to myself. It’s meaning? “An inability to concentrate on one task at a time but tends to attribute attention to several activities at once.” I understand that there is a medically established condition call ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) but there is a major difference between ACD and ADD/ADHD. Firstly, that ACD is not medically induced – it is down to the choice of the individual not to focus on one activity at a time because they believe that they can accomplish many tasks at once but with very little concentration.

Arguably, this phenomena can be classed as ‘multi-tasking’ but I still believe there is a difference. You see, I fail to be able to engage in an activity without having 100 tabs open, music playing in the background as well as watching a TV show and checking my phone for messages – all at the same time!! Is that crazy or what? I know many people do this but as someone that believes that they have little time on their hands to get all the activities that I want to accomplish, I need a little discipline.

As the age of technology develops faster than ever, there are 1000 apps for every aspect of your life: fitness, food and drink, navigation, social networking, relationship, fun and entertainment – the list goes on and on. It is little wonder why ACD is on the increase. There is just too much to do and so little time.

So, I have figured out a way to alleviate this lingering anxiety that I have inevitably developed from being a technological addict. Here is my list:

1. Wake up in the morning and choose 3 major activities that I want to complete – the rule is that I’m not allowed to engage in any other activity at the same time. For example: ‘blogging with no tabs open and no phones’, ‘exercising without playing the television in the background.’, ‘language lesson without being distracted by phone.’

2. Keep a diary of how far you have come –  like a muscle, the more you work on something the more you grow and develop. Keeping a record of the tasks that you dedicate your focus to will inescapably lead to more capacity and tolerance to high focus activities.

3. Ween yourself slowly of the need to check social networking sites every 5 minutes – This is a ‘biggie’ for me. I check twitter every half an hour, facebook every hour, whatsapp every few minutes, instagram every hour. I really need to limit myself to checking activity to a minimum as most of the time, the interaction is majorly unproductive in the bigger scheme of things.

At the end of it all, being able to focus on one activity at a time is the best thing that one can do as it displays discipline and the building blocks to mastery.

Have a blessed day!

Linda L

xxx