No Expectations… No dissapointments 

  

Often, the things we expect lead to dissapointment when they happen unexpectedly. The quote above is kind of a mantra that I have developed somewhat… ‘No expectations, no disappointments.’ This quote can honestly be applied to absolutely anything (and it works!). 

It’s not something that is encouraged but at times, expecting the lowest outcome can produce the most pleasant results when something that happens is above your expectations. I tend to apply this mantra the most with personal relationships. 

I’ve stopped expecting so highly when it comes to people because they will let you down (sometimes at your most neediest). What is to be remembered is that you really have no say on how one conducts themselves, you can influence but if it’s not from their heart, is it really a behaviour that one can adopt? I’ve learned on my journey that the less you expect from someone, the more you will enjoy that relationship. 

For example, if you’re always expecting a phone call or text from somebody, you will be disappointed when that phone call or text does not happen. The next time that you call them, could end up in a bust up or even a little resentment.

So what do you do? 

Don’t expect anyone to do anything for you.

That’s it! 

This mantra is epic because it works! It really does. I’m genuinely surprised when people do certain acts for me and I’m grateful for them when they occur.
Try it today!! 
Xx

Advertisements

Why I Enjoy Binge-watching 

 Image by Danlirose  

My ultimate hobby is to binge-watch new TV shows (some old). Binge-watching has become somewhat of phenomena since the existence of Netflix. It is essentially marathon watching of a TV show  (e.g. A whole season of Game of Thrones).

For me personally, gone are the days when I’d wait week upon week for the development of a show. Why wait when you can watch it all in one?

My first experience of binge watching was with the show ‘Heroes’ (in the early 00s)  It was an epic watch. My ex boyfriend brought his hard drive of the first season of the show round my house at 11am and we must’ve spent the next 24 hours continuously until we finished the whole thing. It was the day I popped my binge watching cherry and a monster was created.

The best kind of shows to binge watch are the big ones such as; Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Dexter, 24.. The reason being that they will leave you wanting more with every episode. This is the whole point of marathon watching.

The disadvantages of binge watching are the constant shakes after watching 12 episodes back to back. The longing that you feel after you’ve exhausted an entire series. In addition, the feeling that you have wasted your entire 2 days for nothing but to join in with the topic of conversation.

I’d never stop though.. It’s always worth it. If there is a show that I’m not getting into, I simply stop watching. I’m not really going to waste my time with nonsense waste of time shows.

My Rules for Living (Some of them) 

   
                       Image by Danlirose
 
 
1.  Learn how to make your favourite restaurant dishes, even if they don’t taste as good as the original.
2. Know when to move on
3. Be like water flowing effortlessly through your environment
4. Be very picky when choosing friends
5. You should not expect something from cheap people
6. Make yourself a brand
7. Realise happiness is not something you obtain
8. Do not let fear dictate your life
9. Manage your expectations
10. Never let them see you sweat
 
11. Quit planning and just take action
12. Make someone’s day everyday
13. Find one good thing about everyday
14. Remain in love everyday with yourself and find new ways to love yourself everyday
15. Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before
16. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
17. Recognise that if something is a struggle or challenging, then it’s causing growth
18. When you help others you help yourself 
 

Life is Sweet (but there are sour parts)

I’ve been through many trials and tribulations this year already. I have been the least productive that I have ever been. I have been the least inspired that I have ever been.  This year has started off rocky for me but the second quarter of the year is already becoming better. I’ve managed to secure a promotion at work and I am excited and scared at the same time. I’m frightened that I may not be able to rise up to the role. All eyes are on me now and I pretty much shy away from the spotlight. I keep remembering how inspired by creativity that I used to be. I used to create music, write songs, paint with watercolours, write poetry… somehow all that stopped when I started full time work. My thirst to create and produce original pieces was my main priority and I really want to get back to that place.

I even suffer with bouts of writer’s block and this prevents me from blogging on the regular. Now that I have a few days off, I am going to find that place.

Stop watering the weeds in your life and start watering the flowers

Image

 

Image by Danlirose Photgraphy

As the title suggests, focusing on the flowers instead of the weeds will attract your mind to the positive. This in turn will yield positive results your way. I am a major believer in positive thinking but I at times fail when it comes to maintaining this practice, especially when it comes to mundane necessary activities such as bills and responsibilities.

I highly recommend Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. This book helped put all the little worries that I had in life in perspective. Here is a nice quote to get you started; “They will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.”
― Richard Carlson

One thing that I have particularly learnt from going through emotions such as sadness, frustration, depression etc is that they are like passengers on a train or bus. Some will come on and some will get off but these emotions are not permanent and they will pass.

So there really is no point focusing on the ‘weeds’ but if you water the flowers, you will find that they will grow and outshine the undesirable.

By Linda L

Attentive Concentration Disorder (the new anti multi-tasking syndrome)

Image

Image by Danlirose Photography

Attentive Concentration Disorder is a term that I coined particularly in relation to myself. It’s meaning? “An inability to concentrate on one task at a time but tends to attribute attention to several activities at once.” I understand that there is a medically established condition call ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) but there is a major difference between ACD and ADD/ADHD. Firstly, that ACD is not medically induced – it is down to the choice of the individual not to focus on one activity at a time because they believe that they can accomplish many tasks at once but with very little concentration.

Arguably, this phenomena can be classed as ‘multi-tasking’ but I still believe there is a difference. You see, I fail to be able to engage in an activity without having 100 tabs open, music playing in the background as well as watching a TV show and checking my phone for messages – all at the same time!! Is that crazy or what? I know many people do this but as someone that believes that they have little time on their hands to get all the activities that I want to accomplish, I need a little discipline.

As the age of technology develops faster than ever, there are 1000 apps for every aspect of your life: fitness, food and drink, navigation, social networking, relationship, fun and entertainment – the list goes on and on. It is little wonder why ACD is on the increase. There is just too much to do and so little time.

So, I have figured out a way to alleviate this lingering anxiety that I have inevitably developed from being a technological addict. Here is my list:

1. Wake up in the morning and choose 3 major activities that I want to complete – the rule is that I’m not allowed to engage in any other activity at the same time. For example: ‘blogging with no tabs open and no phones’, ‘exercising without playing the television in the background.’, ‘language lesson without being distracted by phone.’

2. Keep a diary of how far you have come –  like a muscle, the more you work on something the more you grow and develop. Keeping a record of the tasks that you dedicate your focus to will inescapably lead to more capacity and tolerance to high focus activities.

3. Ween yourself slowly of the need to check social networking sites every 5 minutes – This is a ‘biggie’ for me. I check twitter every half an hour, facebook every hour, whatsapp every few minutes, instagram every hour. I really need to limit myself to checking activity to a minimum as most of the time, the interaction is majorly unproductive in the bigger scheme of things.

At the end of it all, being able to focus on one activity at a time is the best thing that one can do as it displays discipline and the building blocks to mastery.

Have a blessed day!

Linda L

xxx

I’m suffering a major bout of writer’s block

 

It’s hard to admit the reality in the subject heading but the truth is that for a couple of years now, I have suffered a major episode of writer’s block. See, I didn’t know why I was finding it so difficult to come up with creative ideas and topics to write about until I had an epiphany. I used to write in my diary every single day – there, I would pour out all my pent up feelings on a variety of pages. Nobody was ever going to read it but I was myself. I was being 100% real about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. I was looking back at my ‘secret diaries’ and laughing page after page at that writer that once was.

Here, I feel a bit censored and restrained. I cannot say certain things with a fear that someone who the post may be about may be reading it. The embarrassment, the shame of being found out would be on my mind. Thus beginning my downfall into a negative block in my mind.
I would find that I had nothing to write about. Nothing passionate enough to keep me writing and writing. I consider myself quite an intelligent person and I used to be able to convey that in many aspects. My commonplace when I was younger was drawing pictures, colouring outside of the lines, sewing and putting creations together, writing songs, composing music. I itched of creativity in every way. However, recently I have suffered greatly from the lack of inspiration around me even though I claim to be inspired every day. I feeling energised by other people’s productions but when it comes to putting pen to paper (or the lack thereof), there is an incredible anomaly.

Another reason that I feel that I have been losing points in my writing is that my ex partner was sort of my muse. When we broke up it was an extremely tumultuous time for me. I broke down and all the pain that I had translated into something that was unproductive and dark. I had lost all my power and again lost my vision of some sorts.

I really want to change this aspect in my life. I have begun to read with purpose. I believe that reading and reading with purpose are two different things. I want to be able to sit down and lose this ACD (Attentive Concentration Disorder) that I have developed. This is literally where I would have my TV, my phone and my iPad on all at the same time doing various functions. This is the first time in a long time that I have actually sat down and focused on one activity without flicking through tabs and checking my phone to see my messages. I actually feel good that I have been able to concentrate. One thing with me is that I have issues with focus. I get distracted so easily and I let this dilute the quality of what I’m really trying to say.

I used to be able to focus on one activity for hours and hours; Reading, composing a song, creating an outfit or craft. This is not true for today. However, it is never too late to break a habit and develop a good one.

Linda L

aka DanliRose

xxx