It’s hard to admit the reality in the subject heading but the truth is that for a couple of years now, I have suffered a major episode of writer’s block. See, I didn’t know why I was finding it so difficult to come up with creative ideas and topics to write about until I had an epiphany. I used to write in my diary every single day – there, I would pour out all my pent up feelings on a variety of pages. Nobody was ever going to read it but I was myself. I was being 100% real about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. I was looking back at my ‘secret diaries’ and laughing page after page at that writer that once was.
Here, I feel a bit censored and restrained. I cannot say certain things with a fear that someone who the post may be about may be reading it. The embarrassment, the shame of being found out would be on my mind. Thus beginning my downfall into a negative block in my mind.
I would find that I had nothing to write about. Nothing passionate enough to keep me writing and writing. I consider myself quite an intelligent person and I used to be able to convey that in many aspects. My commonplace when I was younger was drawing pictures, colouring outside of the lines, sewing and putting creations together, writing songs, composing music. I itched of creativity in every way. However, recently I have suffered greatly from the lack of inspiration around me even though I claim to be inspired every day. I feeling energised by other people’s productions but when it comes to putting pen to paper (or the lack thereof), there is an incredible anomaly.
Another reason that I feel that I have been losing points in my writing is that my ex partner was sort of my muse. When we broke up it was an extremely tumultuous time for me. I broke down and all the pain that I had translated into something that was unproductive and dark. I had lost all my power and again lost my vision of some sorts.
I really want to change this aspect in my life. I have begun to read with purpose. I believe that reading and reading with purpose are two different things. I want to be able to sit down and lose this ACD (Attentive Concentration Disorder) that I have developed. This is literally where I would have my TV, my phone and my iPad on all at the same time doing various functions. This is the first time in a long time that I have actually sat down and focused on one activity without flicking through tabs and checking my phone to see my messages. I actually feel good that I have been able to concentrate. One thing with me is that I have issues with focus. I get distracted so easily and I let this dilute the quality of what I’m really trying to say.
I used to be able to focus on one activity for hours and hours; Reading, composing a song, creating an outfit or craft. This is not true for today. However, it is never too late to break a habit and develop a good one.
No doubt, I’m having a sexy fxcking relationship with my bed. I love her and she loves me (and yes it’s a she). I love to sleep. I love the feeling I get when I snuggle under the covers and surround myself with bosoms of pillows. I took a holiday from work just to sleep. I always feel relaxed and refreshed when I sleep in the day. I can’t lie. I dream all sorts of craziness when I’m in bed and when I wake I have a genuine WTF moment… But I love it! People say that lazy peoeple sleep… Yeah and I’m one of them. I work hard but I also sleep hard. At times I felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with my girl but this week has been the best! I slept with her more than once in a day.. She is so good to me.
So, there has been a debate raging in my mind as to whether I should continue my Audible subscription. The idea sounded great at the time, I was browsing through the App Store on my iPad and lo and behold – Audible, a simple way of enjoying listening to a book without the hassle of reading. I purchased my first book with the only credit that I had for the remainder of that month. I downloaded the book of my choosing and off I was listening to an American narrator read a book to me like a spoilt child needing a good bedtime story (am I being too harsh?).
It appears to be a completely lazy way to ‘read’ a book but I tell you what, it’s actually more complicated than it seems. You see, there is a phenomena called ‘active listening’ that involves you actively digesting the information that is presented to you. Just imagine it as ‘chewing’ with the ears.It is not as simple as just sitting there and letting the narrator do all the reading for you. It still takes a lot out of you to actively partake in the narrative. It is in fact so easy to get so lost in the audio that you can lose track of what is actually being said. This results in various instances of rewinding the bloody thing to the point that you last paid attention.
It is also frustrating not having the words in front of oneself. I have spent my life reading words… Can I really introduce something new to the bedroom? Hey, are we still talking about books?
So what am I saying? Am I in favour or not?
Ok, my position is that I am neither for or against. To each their own. I personally don’t mind the experience. There are certain types of books that I would prefer to read the paperback version. There are other types of books where I wouldn’t mind perusing the electronic version and I’m sure there are certain types of books where I wouldn’t mind listening via audiobook. It is truly not the end of the world.
I do recommend it to people that are always on the go. Particularly those that drive everywhere. At least it is something productive whilst you are crumbling under the stress of traffic flow between home and your destination.
In conclusion, I will continue my subscription since I do drive to work and it is useful having literature playing in the background to sharpen one’s mind.
If you are indeed interested in audiobooks sign up to audible.co.uk
They say that as you get older, time speeds up. I believe this is true… but I do think the top reasons as to why this happens are:
1. We have much more responsibilities as we get older and therefore less time on our hands to sit idle.
2. Advancements in technology are also contributing to time speeding up. Multitasking is something that I have learnt as a result of the many utilities I use to access the ‘technosphere’ – Email on my phone, TV on my iPad, games on my phone, YouTube on my laptop and so on.
3. There is so much to do and so little time to do it.
I am a truth seeker by nature. I don’t remember the first time that I woke up but I know it started via YouTube. It was a video stating that the World Trade Centre tragedy was orchestrated by the American government to bring in a new world order. On the surface it seemed crazy but as soon as I watched one video that was put together in such an orderly and logical way, I was convinced that the world is not in fact what it seems. This urged me to find out more about the mysteries of this world and things just kept on unravelling. Life began to unravel.
The world changed significantly after 9/11. I was very young at the time of the tragedy but as I grew up, it got referenced more and more in news articles, videos and forums. Not just the conspiracy of the twin towers but other things such as the illuminati (that is now heavily cited to death) and others relating to darkness in music. I became addicted to dissecting everything I thought I knew about the world. These revelations were truly enlightening…
Unfortunately, after many years of seeking the truth, I see that it had made little contribution to my overall life decisions. Unless I actually wanted to make a stand against the conspirators, I feel that it is futile having the knowledge but not having any leverage to make an effective change against the powers that be.
Conspiracy theories are a gimmick and they are becoming more and more ridiculous (even for me). I used to be a conspiracy ‘nut’ but now I think I am a realist. Many times, theories are pulled out from thin air. No sources, pure speculation and this is accepted as fact? I am tired of everyone being in the illuminati. I am done with the crazy theories about Sandy Hook being a hoax. It was already bad enough when the Olympic park was supposed to be nuked and nothing happened.Just please stop!
I understand the media is heavily manipulated and censored but… We have to be aware of our own bullshit at times. Conspiracy theories are just that- conspiracy stories.
I have de-converted.
I am no longer a conspiracy theorist but a TRUTH seeker. That means that both sides are taken into account.
I have felt the pressure of having to finish all the books that I pick up. But truthfully, at times I do not enjoy most of the books that I read. This is down to a variety of factors;
1. IT IS NOT ENGAGING ME ENOUGH TO CARRY ON
It is important to catch the readers attention within the first line. It is ok to build up the tension and the suspense but when I have read several chapters and it is still not engrossing me, I have no choice but to put the book down.
2. LITTLE OR NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
If I sense that the characters in the book that I am reading are flat and have no depth to them, I cannot say that I will be impressed overall with the book that I am reading. At times, the story is so engaging but the characters go through a journey of little or no growth. I find it important that the character/s of the story go through some sort of change and evolution. It makes the whole experience a little more rewarding.
3. THE STORY IS BORING… PERIOD
If the main story is something that I have little care for, it is very unlikely that I will carry on reading. I am open to any kind of story, as long as it is interesting.
4. TERRIBLE WRITING
Have you ever watched a movie adaption of a book and then decided to read that book because of how interesting you found the movie but realised that the writing is either convoluted, hard to read or flat?
Well I have… and I will not name any names but this really irks me.
So to end… Don’t feel obligated to finish reading a book if you are genuinely not enjoying it because who has time for that?
(By Danli Rose)
Yes! I am guilty of selective narcissism. I have an entire blog dedicated to me, my thoughts, my pictures, the world through my eyes etc… I will happily share my life to strangers but when it comes to people that I know, my life is kept very silent. I will not post on Facebook because I feel it draws too much attention, yet I will happily spill on Twitter and on this blog. It’s a strange world we live in where one will be high and mighty on one platform and totally deranged on another. This is why I am admitting my weaknesses here and now so that no one thinks I am not self aware. If someone wants to get to know a different side of me without saying much, I direct people to my personal blog. I don’t give a shite what anyone thinks of my shit but at least I’m calling myself on my shit, right, rant over… I hate when people over share myself but at least you can turn the page with a blog. You get my drift?